rexuality: realistic captions for selfies: i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit this is the best...
sweeneytad: *dentist slaughters family in front of you* they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
foreveralone-lyguy: If I was famous I’d just take pictures of the paparazzi
ohabutt: in middle school my friend used to give me these huge lemons to eat because they were delicious and one time i was eating one and some idiot told me he’d give me ten bucks to take a huge bite and another kid added five so i got 15 american dollar for doing what i was already doing truly this is the land of opportunity
How Well Do Your Followers Know You?
kanrose: Fill this out in my ask box (or in Submit)! One point for every correct answer. Nine points total plus bonus points for multiple correct answers. I’ll reply with your total score! First name: Nickname: Age: Gender: Nationality: Relationship status: Likes: Dislikes: Random fact:
i wish i lost weight like i lose my followers
aepicstranger: thisretrodreamisneverending: In physics the other day my teacher started having this coughing fit so he says ‘I THINK SATAN IS CHOKING ME’ and I just went ‘Sorry’ and he stopped coughing omg I think everyone in my class is terrified now. i am still laughing at this from like twenty minutes ago
Reblog this if you're older than Google.
come-come-cardinal: keepcalmandgosurfing: geekyninja1: attend-hogwarts: grrrbarrowman: skarosoul: It scares me that there’s only 1000 reblogs. It scares me that there’s only 3000 reblogs. how old is google? google is 13 today
spookythunder: I embarrass myself infront of myself
If Yahoo ruins Tumblr and we all delete our...
miucciapet: i’m in a love triangle with me myself and i
uterus: hey you're not pregnant
uterus: hey just wanted to say it's been a couple of minutes and you're still not pregnant
uterus: i'm going to just keep on telling you you're not pregnant in a violent bloody way for a few days
uterus: and in case you're worried you'll be pregnant next month i'll tell you again ok because i care for you like that
ambitiousbard: just be grateful that bing didn’t buy tumblr
jaclcfrost: avatargrimes: jaclcfrost: chiptunehero: jaclcfrost: no one ever talks about peter pan’s brother peter pot peter pot the only boy who was higher than peter pan and this is probably why no one talks about him peter pot is so high, he neverlands. and it’s definitely not because of any faith or trust or pixie dust
lntelligent: i wish self-hatred burned calories
REBLOG IF U CARE IF I KILLED MYSELF TONIGHT!!
rorapoos: musician-of-madness: watch no one reblog this from me. watch. i care
how-ood: actually i listen to dadford & daughters
orangelemonart: yeezytaughtme: love yourself like kanye loves himself believe in yourself like kanye believes in himself know you’re the shit like kanye knows he’s the shit This is actually really great because Kanye West has fought depression and suicide this sort of confidence worked for him and wow Kanye West. Anyone who is depressed, believe you are the Kanye Best.
falloutyoungmale: I write sins not five page research papers